Become Beautiful Women

This article is for all the lonely men out there. Are you tired of rejection? Looking for a hot meal every once in a while without placing your order to a drive-thru speaker? Looking for true love? Well, look no further than your local ugly woman. She may be hideous, but I have come up with a comprehensive list for you (if you can stand it) to give that ugly girl a second look.
Author’s Note: This article in entirely satirical in nature. I don’t advocate dating ugly, pretty or any other kind of woman. Actually, I advocate that we all live as modern hermits with high-speed internet access and at least 4 gigs of ram. My only purpose in my writing is to amuse the other sick and twisted minds out there. Please don’t contact the police: I’m not chained to anything except maybe my work desk but so are millions of other Americans.She’ll be grateful for the crumbs of your affection.
Ugly women having been lonely for so long that the minute you talk to her (after she gets over the initial shock) she will shower you with gratitude. If your ego needed a boost than she will give it to you without thinking about it. You can be disgusting, rude, even flatulent…nothing will upset her. Your mere presence is more than enough for her.

She’ll give you money.
Even if she’s a homely librarian, she will gladly sign over her paycheck for any reason you choose to give her. Even for no reason. She’ll take out loans. She’ll max her credit cards. She’d turn to prostitution except she’d already know she wouldn’t make much. She’ll be like your personal ATM. Score!

You can move in right away.
If your last beautiful girl kicked you out of your shared apartment, your new ugly girlfriend will open her home to you. Once you get rid of the all the stuffed animals and cats, it more comfortable than your mother’s basement.

She’ll do anything you ask. Anything.
Need an accomplice? A rock hard alibi? Or maybe you always wanted to “experiment”. Your ugly girlfriend will never refuse you no matter how outrageous or dangerous. Just be sure to break her in slowly, you don’t want to spook the horse too soon.

Humiliation is her middle name.
Are you the type of person who gets a kick out of making someone feel bad? Tired of people not appreciating your rapier wit? Well, your new ugly girlfriend can play “Ed” to your “Johnny”. No joke is too distasteful or corny for your girl. She’ll laugh on cue (in cue, I mean you will of course train her to laugh whenever you snap your fingers.)

She’s got a cute friend you can mess around with.
Ugly girls have lots of cute girlfriends. The reason for this is simple. What better way to be more beautiful than be surround by the truly hideous? When a woman thinks like that, she has self esteem issues. That’s perfect for a guy like you. Just remember to treat both your ugly girlfriend and your soon to be mistress with as much disdain as possible. That’s how the real pimps do it!

Sympathy
Looking for a way to get back with your cute ex-girlfriend? Start going around with the ugly chick on your arm. The sympathetic stares will boost your ego. People who know your ex will of course report back on how bad you’re doing now and how you were seen out in public with someone who look “tore up”. If you can manage a few tears if you happen to run into your old girlfriend, you can play both at the same time. You wouldn’t want to break hearts, would you?

Your opinion will be the only one that matters.
Tired of always being wrong? Want your views on everything from global warming to soap operas taken as gospel? Your ugly girlfriend will be your biggest booster. Even when you’re not sure, or even when you are dead wrong; she’ll swallow whatever tripe you happen to be giving out that day. She’ll believe in you!

She won’t make fun of you.
Are you the often the butt of other people’s jokes? Tired of being stepped on? Well, your ugly girlfriend is already beneath you: why not take out your frustration on her? You may be a “small” man to everyone else; but to her, you’re the king!

Okay, I can only come up with 9 reasons. My man isn’t back yet from working a double shift at “Burger King” so I don’t have any more ideas for this list. Truthfully, without his wise direction, I can barely exist. However, as soon as he comes in and unchains me from the radiator I will respectfully ask that he put fresh water in my dish and allow me to type out the rest of his brilliant thoughts so that I can finish this article for him. Men are so smart.

If you’re too sexy but still alone, look no further than an ugly man. Ten very good reasons why you should date an ugly man.
If you are one of the beautiful people but always find yourself alone, there may be a reason for it. You’ve been telling yourself for years that the reason you still aren’t in a relationship is because you are just too good looking. Your good looks are too much for someone to handle. I’m here to tell you that you are absolutely right. You are too good looking to date other good looking people: but you are primed to date ugly guys. Here are ten reasons why a gorgeous woman like you should date an ugly man:He would never cheat on you
If you date an ugly man, he will be so happy that the thought of cheating on you would never occur to him. He would rather cut off his own arm with a rusty chainsaw then ever look at another woman again. He’s already bagged the perfect woman! Cheating is for people who are pretty. Your ugly man will never be unhappy; why should he? He’s got you, babe!

There are a lot of ugly men.
They’re everywhere. Ugly men outnumber gorgeous women at least a thousand to one. You will have your pick of the most eligible ugly guys. You can even have a bevy of un-handsome honeys at your beck and call; one unattractive guy for every day of the week. What could be better?

The ugliest man in the room is usually the richest man in the room.
Show me a good looking man and I’ll show you a dead broke man. Ugly men have money. They have been saving up their pennies for the day you come to your senses and recognize that they exist. On that glorious day, they will shower you with expensive gifts, trips, and negotiable bonds. Financial security is just one ugly man away.

Ugly men are sexual gods!
When you deal with an ugly man, he will do anything to please you, especially in the bedroom. He has been practicing alone for years and he is now more than ready to give you his all. He will have little to no experience but what he lacks in finesse he will make up with lots of enthusiasm. He wouldn’t want an enthusiastic, unselfish lover? Just make sure you keep the lights off.

He’ll do anything you say
If you are the type of woman that needs a man to listen and obey; then an ugly man is just what you need. Ugly men have been bossed around their entire life so they will welcome your sexy direction. Actually, if you don’t boss them around, they’ll be unhappy. You don’t want your ugly man unhappy, do you?

An ugly man would give his life for you
Your ugly man would never want to lose you. If you happen to be in danger, he will immediately jump in to save your life. He will be like your own personal bodyguard. And if by chance your ugly man meets an unfortunate end, there are many more ugly men where he came from. You should also make sure that your ugly man has the same blood type as you do; ugly men have no problem donating the odd kidney or section of liver to help their best girl out.

Ugly men are technical marvels
Having trouble with your broadband connection? Want to save money by filing your own taxes? Well, look no further than your local ugly man. Since he’s been unattractive for as long as he can remember, he’s spent years working his mind. Now, that mind can be available to you. He’ll hook up all your technical stuff for your home and make sure that you will always have the latest gadget. The one possible drawback is that if you want to get rid of him, he might be the only one who knows how to turn on your TV, so be forewarned.

If you want to dump him, he’ll understand
How many times have you tried to get rid of a guy but he just wouldn’t get the message? At least with an ugly guy, he’ll expect you to dump him so he’ll fade away quietly without any problem. No more messy breakups! He might go off and cry somewhere, but he’ll do it quietly in his mother’s basement far from you. As an added bonus, he will remember you always with a very nice shrine dedicated to your memory. It’s like having your own fan club!

He’ll have good-looking guy friend you can cheat on him with
Ugly guys always have at least one cute friend. Hooking up with your ugly man’s hot friend is great because if for some reason you get caught, your ugly man will forgive you and blame himself for not being the kind of man that you deserve. His dedication to you would increase ten-fold.

Even after you break his heart, he’ll still come running
When you eventually get tired of making your ugly man walk behind you so no one sees you together, when you get tired of making your ugly man wear a paper bag over his head during sex and get rid of him, no matter what, he’ll come back on your slightest whim. Ugly men have no concept of pride. You can curse out his beloved mother, spit in his face and/or max out his credit card-it doesn’t matter to your ugly man. Any sin can be forgiven in his loving yet ugly eyes. Remember; you’re gorgeous!

This list is satire and should be seen as a humorous take on the kind of woman who thinks the reason they haven’t found true love has to do with their outward appearance. No one is perfect; every one of us has faults. In a relationship, a person needs to be able to appreciate someone other than themselves. You can’t do that if you’re stuck in a mirror.

It’s unfortunate, but most women don’t realize how crucial a role regular fitness and exercise is to reducing many symptoms associated with perimenopause. As women approach menopause they begin to gain weight, especially around their mid-section. This abdominal weight is quite common and the result of declining hormone levels, which may cause the metabolism to slow down significantly.

As you may know, excessive abdominal weight plays a significant role in contributing to heart disease, the number one killer of middle-aged and older women. Not to worry; the weight you’ve recently gained can be managed quite easily by simply getting into a regular fitness or exercise routine. Fitness and consistent exercise really are the keys to decreasing weight and avoiding the pitfalls of aging. By committing to a regular exercise routine - one which includes weight training - women will change the muscle-to-fat ratio, enabling them to increase their metabolic rate and burn calories, even at rest.
In addition to weight gain, women in their thirties begin to lose bone mass at a rate of approximately 1% per year. This rate increases to 2%-3% per year after menopause,-but studies have shown that exercise can actually increase a woman’s bone density, thus reducing the risk of osteoporosis and the incidence of falls and bone fractures associated with osteoporosis. Unfortunately, osteoporosis often goes undetected until bone fractures occur, but by taking preventative measures, such as consistently exercising, women can indeed reduce this risk.

Exercise and fitness can also be beneficial in reducing the incidence of hot flashes, a common symptom women experience as they approach menopause. Hot flashes can contribute to impaired sleep patterns and a decreased energy level. Additionally, hot flashes can also affect one’s overall mood, which has the potential to negatively affect both personal and professional relationships. While estrogen replacement therapy has been shown to decrease these symptoms, for many women a regular exercise routine appears to be a very viable alternative.

In summary, making fitness and exercise a priority will benefit most women who are experiencing symptoms of perimenopause, and the positive results - both physical and emotional - are well worth the extra time you’ll spend once you begin and continue a regular exercise routine. It’s easy to make excuses to not make time to ensure that exercise is a priority, but it’s crucial to understand that being regularly active will lead to overall good health now and in the future. The only results you’ll see from your added physical activity will be those that are extremely beneficial to you and those you love.

Safari style is one of summer fashion’s hardiest perennials. Which is amazing when you consider how completely daft it is, when dressing to go to work, to dress as if you are about to jump in the back of a Jeep and drive around looking for buffalo.
Don’t know about you, but I can’t see that many similarities between my average working day and a tour of the Serengeti, even when it happens to be sunny outside the office window.

I’m being facetious, of course, because the longevity of safari as a look is due to the fact that it has nothing whatsoever to do with dust tracks or looking at animals through binoculars, and absolutely everything to do with looking as if you are on a very posh holiday.

Safari makes a lot more sense once you realise this. The aspirational angle is pretty much undeniable: anyone, at any given time, would presumably like to be on a very expensive holiday. So, unless you are adamant about sticking to sackcloth, you are technically in the market for a safari jacket.

What’s more, unlike most fashion trends, safari is almost idiot-proof. The whole idea is that it is sleek and practical, so you can pretty much rely on buying it off the peg. You could go for a jacket to wear with a simple skirt or jeans, or you could go for a dress but, either way, it’s going to be beige, it’s going to have a belt, it’s going to have breast pockets.

I said almost idiot-proof: there is one pitfall. Beware of hamming up the safari look with matching accessories. No panama hats, please, and no chunky ethnic bracelets, or you risk looking like one of Prince Harry’s friends at an off-colour colonial fancy dress party - which, in fashion terms, is a far worse fate than being cornered by a hungry crocodile.

How To Read Women’s Body Language - 5 Easy To Read Tips To Know If She’s Into You

It’s a well known fact that we reveal a lot about ourselves and our inner thoughts through our body language. People in positions of power are well taught in the art of body language - how to read it and how to use it to their best advantage. Read on and you too will learn how to be in control, how interpret female body signals to your best advantage. Then you’ll know if she’s enjoying your company and if she’s worth pursuing further.

Tip 1: observe what she’s doing with her hair

Is he she playing with her then she definitely fancies you. If she is twirling it in her hands, or revealing her neck these are subconscious signals that she’s into you.

Tip 2: watch her finger actions

Fingers are very closely linked with the sexual act and as such are very revealing. Watch her fingers closely. Is she starts fondling or stroking her face, neck, chest, arm, thigh or leg in your presence then she is subtly seducing you. She may not even realise she is doing it. If she if she plays with her lips, teeth or tongue that is a dead cert!

Tip 3: pay attention to the position of her body

How is her body placed in relation to yours? If she is leaning towards you, or if her legs or shoulders are pointed towards you then this is a good body language sign. She really likes you! By moving closer to you she is subtly saying that she wants to get even closer! However if her arms are crossed, or if she is leaning away from you then these may be negative body language signs. Maybe she is weary of you. Crossing the arms is a defensive stance and this reveals that she might be intimidated or put off by you.

Tip 4: look at her eye movements

If you spot a woman and she is looking at you then she looks away and then looks at you again, but with a slight downwards glance, she definitely likes you. The downward glance reveals her shyness so now would be a prime time to approach her. Look closely at her eyes. If she smiles and looks away, this is always a positive sign. If she looks into your eyes for a long time, again, you’re in there. Beware however of the woman that never makes any eye contact, or one who looks away, or around her a lot. These are the signs of someone who is disinterested or bored.

Tip 5: look out for any seductive movements

These signs reveal the most about a woman’s inner thoughts. She is also most likely doing these consciously, so you catch sight of any of these, count yourself lucky! Is she stroking her leg or chest, is she subtly revealing parts of her body to you? Is she dangling one shoe with her feet whilst in a crossed leg position? If she is doing any of the above she is trying to seduce you and entice you into bed.

If you hope get girls more concern,
you must be more strong

These easy tips are invaluable in the quest to read, understand and ultimately seduce women.

For more great tips on how to pick up really hot women and how to keep them interested visit http://www.hellomao.com

As a hot girl I have never had trouble picking up men. In fact, I get approached everywhere I go. And when I do get talking to guys I’m not shy and I never run out of fun, interesting and enticing tings to talk about.

However, having witnessed many of my male friends leave relationships wounded, with broken hearts, or never even get a foot in the door with girls, I’ve decided to try and help guys to whom the whole dating thing doesn’t just come second nature. That’s just the nice kind of girl I am.

I discovered the Guy Gets Girl System through a friend of mine. When he discovered it he talked and talked about it. I was dubious at first, but I though hey it can’t do any harm. He changed overnight. I saw my shy friend, who took two years to recover from a broken heart, who never dared to approach women, turn into a confident, charming, sexy guy who was suddenly the life and soul of the party. He now has a beautiful and wonderful girlfriend. He opened my eyes. I realized that so many guys out there are struggling to find a date. Some don’t even dare approach beautiful women. A lot of guys seem to lack the self confidence and the self awareness to be able to approach girls, talk to them and instigate meaningful relationships. Guys this is just not on, especially when the answer is so simple.

Abstract

Background: the relationship between sexual differences of body fat distribution and cardiovascular dysmetabolic factors in old people is controversial.

Objectives: to use centrality index-derived body fat distribution to clarify its relationship with glucose tolerance status, blood pressure and lipid profile.

Design: cross-sectional survey in a tertiary-care medical centre in Tainan, Taiwan.

Subjects: 114 men and 101 women, aged >60 years.

Methods: we measured total % body fat and body fat distribution (reflected as centrality index) by dual energy x-ray absorptiometry, and plasma glucose, glycosylated haemoglobin, blood pressure, total cholesterol, triglyceride, high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol and atherogenic index (total cholesterol/HDL cholesterol).

Results: centrality index showed better linear correlation with cardiovascular dysmetabolic factors than body mass index, total % body fat and waist-to-hip ratio, except in systolic blood pressure. Women had higher total % body fat, but the % abdominal fat and centrality index were both higher in men. Subjects with diabetes mellitus had the highest centrality index compared with those with impaired or normal glucose tolerance. After adjustment for age and total % body fat, men still had higher diastolic blood pressure, triglyceride levels and atherogenic indices, but lower HDL cholesterol levels than women. However, when further adjusted for centrality index, the sex differences in cardiovascular dysmetabolic factors were statistically insignificant.

Conclusions: centrality index is a useful method for assessing body fat distribution in older people. Body fat distribution is an important factor in sex differences of cardiovascular dysmetabolic factors in old people.

Every guy has a strong desire inside him to get any girl attracted towards him. This can be easily done if you know how to appeal to someone’s emotion and get the desired results. You need to know how to keep someone comfortable yet interested in you all the time. You need to be an expert at reading different personality types and use communication as an effective tool to get the desired emotion. Read on to discover how you can use human emotions and get a girl attracted to you.


The very first words- Every girl would form an opinion about you during the very first words you use. Now the magic trick lies in these first few words. It’s your doorway to being a strong girl magnet. If you choose the right words emotion to drive attention you would definitely succeed with women. You need to get the listeners feelings out by using compelling words and sentences.

Open her imagination- You should talk in a certain way that not only does it appeal to her emotions but also gets her imagination engine running. If you are able to make a person imagine with the words you use they would definitely be more attentive and attracted towards you.


Get her drawn into it- The only way you can get her drawn into your talks is when you are direct and you appeal to her emotions. It basically happens when she is enjoying what she is listening to and wants more and more of it.

Stimulation- This is the part where she would pay more attention to you than other things. She would be less attentive to other things or happenings around her and would be more attentive towards you. The intensity of stimulation might vary depending on what you are talking about and to what extents it appeals to her senses. Therefore you need to get her stimulated to the extreme. You need to get her completely engaged in what you are saying and getting the desired result and attention. Once she is totally into your conversation and has started imagining things as you talk than she is definitely into your spell and you have her emotions. She would most probably be willing to discover more about you which might lead to an eventual date.


What you don’t know yet- Ever tried to wonder what’s in a woman’s mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say. They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Read on to discover some of the most “Shocking Secrets” women don’t want men to know-9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don’t want men to know

DUJIANGYAN, China - The toll of the dead and missing soared as rescue workers dug through flattened schools and homes on Tuesday in a desperate attempt to find survivors of China’s worst earthquake in three decades.


The official Xinhua News Agency said the death toll exceeded 12,000 in Sichuan province alone, and 18,645 were still buried in debris in the city of Mianyang, near the epicenter of Monday’s massive, 7.9-magnitude quake.

The Sichuan Daily newspaper reported on its Web site that more than 26,000 people were injured in Mianyang.

The numbers of casualties was expected to rise due to the remoteness of the areas affected by the quake and difficulty in finding buried victims.

There was little prospect that many survivors would be found under the rubble. Only 58 people were extricated from demolished buildings across the quake area so far, China Seismological Bureau spokesman Zhang Hongwei told Xinhua. In one county, 80 percent of the buildings were destroyed.

Rain was impeding efforts and a group of paratroopers called off a rescue mission to the epicenter due to heavy storms, Xinhua reported.

More than two dozen British and American tourists who were thought to be panda-watching in the area also remained missing.

Officials urged the public not to abandon hope.

“Survivors can hold on for some time. Now it’s not time to give up,” Wang Zhenyao, disaster relief division director at the Ministry of Civil Affairs, told reporters in Beijing.


Premier Wen Jiabao, who rushed to the area to oversee rescue efforts, said a push was on to clear roads and restore electricity as soon as possible. His visit to the disaster scene was prominently featured on state TV, a gesture meant to reassure people that the ruling party was doing all it could.

“We will save the people,” Wen said through a bullhorn to survivors as he toured the disaster scene, in footage shown on CCTV. “As long as the people are there, factories can be built into even better ones, and so can the towns and counties.”

State media said rescue workers had reached the epicenter in Wenchuan county — where the number of casualties was still unknown. The quake was centered just north of the Sichuan provincial capital of Chengdu in central China, tearing into urban areas and mountain villages.

Earthquake rescue experts in orange jumpsuits extricated bloody survivors on stretchers from demolished buildings.

Some 20,000 soldiers and police arrived in the disaster area with 30,000 more on the way by plane, train, trucks and even on foot, the Defense Ministry told Xinhua.

Aftershocks rattled the region for a second day, sending people running into the streets in Chengdu. The U.S. Geological Survey measured the shocks between magnitude 4 and 6, some of the strongest since Monday’s quake.

Zhou Chun, a 70-year-old retired mechanic, was leaving Dujiangyan with a soiled light blue blanket draped over his shoulders.

“My wife died in the quake. My house was destroyed,” he said. “I am going to Chengdu, but I don’t know where I’ll live.”

Zhou and other survivors were pulling luggage and clutching plastic bags of food amid a steady drizzle and the constant wall of ambulances.

Just east of the epicenter, 1,000 students and teachers were killed or missing at a collapsed high school in Beichuan county — a six-story building reduced to a pile of rubble about two yards high, according to Xinhua. Xinhua said 80 percent of the buildings had collapsed in Beichuan alone.

At another leveled school in Dujiangyan, 900 students were feared dead. As bodies of teenagers were carried out on doors used as makeshift stretchers, relatives lit incense and candles and also set off fireworks to ward away evil spirits.

Elsewhere in Gansu province, a 40-car freight train derailed in the quake that included 13 gasoline tankers was still burning Tuesday, Xinhua said.

Gasoline lines grew in Chengdu and grocery stores shelves were almost empty. The Ministry of Health issued an appeal for blood donations to help the quake victims.

Fifteen missing British tourists were believed to have been in the area at the time of the quake and were “out of reach,” Xinhua reported.

They were likely visiting the Wolong Nature Reserve, home to more than 100 giant pandas, whose fate also was not known, Xinhua said, adding that 60 pandas at another breeding center in Chengdu were safe.

Another group of 12 Americans also on panda-watching tour sponsored by the U.S. office of the World Wildlife Fund remained out of contact Tuesday, said Tan Rui, WWF communications officer in China.

Two Chinese-Americans and a Thai tourist also were missing in Sichuan province, the agency said, citing tourism officials.

Expressions of sympathy and offers of help poured in from the United States, Japan and the European Union, among others.


The Dalai Lama, who has been vilified by Chinese authorities who blame him for recent unrest in Tibet, offered prayers for the victims. The epicenter is just south of some Tibetan mountain areas that saw anti-government protests earlier this year.

Beijing Games organizers said the Olympic torch relay will continue as planned through the quake-affected area next month.

The Chinese government said it would welcome outside aid, and Russia was sending a plane with rescuers and supplies, the country’s Interfax news agency reported.

But Wang, the disaster relief official, said international aid workers would not be allowed to travel to the affected area.

“We welcome funds and supplies; we can’t accommodate personnel at this point,” he said.

China’s Ministry of Finance said it had allocated $123 million in aid for quake-hit areas.

The quake was China’s deadliest since 1976, when 240,000 people were killed in the city of Tangshan, near Beijing in 1976. Financial analysts said the quake would have only a limited impact on the country’s booming economy.

___

Associated Press writers Christopher Bodeen in Juyuan and Audra Ang in Chengdu contributed to this report.


 

I hope everybody can people of the disaster area dedicate an oneself’s benevolence